The Swinging Lifestyle
Those who look at things from a perspective of evolutionary biology point out that responding to the drive to expand your genetic contribution to the world results in different strategies for males and females. Males want to mate with as many fertile partners as possible. Females in species like ours in which infants take a lot of time and care to come to maturity are more interested in providing for the young and keeping the male nearby to help, as well as reducing competition for resources in their area. This may explain why husbands are usually far more interested in swapping than wives are. This is not true of every individual, certainly! However, it is an overall pattern.
What this means is that swinging clubs usually do not allow single men to attend parties. It also means that it is very possible that the man wants to swing more than the woman does, and she may feel under a lot of pressure to go along for the sake of their relationship.
In any situation where one partner is giving in to pressure from the other in something as intimate as sex, there is a great danger that the relationship will be badly wounded or die. (This is true if the woman is the one who wants to swing and the man doesn't, of course, but the opposite is more common.) This is the major pitfall in swinging.
Another is that if the relationship has some serious problems, a swing partner may feel more understanding, more exciting, or more desirable than the regular partner. Meeting this person could make one of the couple decide it was no longer worth working on the problems, and swinging would be blamed for the ensuing break-up. Of course, the same can happen with a coworker, a friend from the gym, or that nice barkeep...
Benefits: besides a rollicking good time, swinging can deepen the trust and excitement between two members of a couple. Both can explore and learn about different aspects of their sexuality, check out bisexuality or different kinks, and make new friends. As long as communication and commitment within the couple is strong, there is a lot to gain.
Swinging Safely
There are two important safety rules for any and all sex with people you do not know well.
ONE: Someone must know where you are. Someone should have a phone number for you and a real location, and an idea when you are coming back. You may arrange to have someone call at a specific time, and if you don't answer, they will send the police. Talk on line with people about their safety ideas; you can learn a lot! Most people are nice, but there are a few dangerous creeps out there.
TWO: Be disease-safe as well. Use condoms, other barriers as necessary, and spermicide. The excitement of sex with a stranger -- or new friend -- is hardly worth a lifetime of unpleasant chronic illness, warts, or the like. It is totally unfair if you have a regular partner to risk exposing them, as well. Remember that many sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted when there are no visible symptoms, and that a recent HIV test won't reveal exposure within the last six months or so. When you have sex with someone, you're having sex with all the people they had unprotected sex with, too.
Benefits: besides a rollicking good time, swinging can deepen the trust and excitement between two members of a couple. Both can explore and learn about different aspects of their sexuality, check out bisexuality or different kinks, and make new friends. As long as communication and commitment within the couple is strong, there is a lot to gain.
Swinging Safely
There are two important safety rules for any and all sex with people you do not know well.
ONE: Someone must know where you are. Someone should have a phone number for you and a real location, and an idea when you are coming back. You may arrange to have someone call at a specific time, and if you don't answer, they will send the police. Talk on line with people about their safety ideas; you can learn a lot! Most people are nice, but there are a few dangerous creeps out there.
TWO: Be disease-safe as well. Use condoms, other barriers as necessary, and spermicide. The excitement of sex with a stranger -- or new friend -- is hardly worth a lifetime of unpleasant chronic illness, warts, or the like. It is totally unfair if you have a regular partner to risk exposing them, as well. Remember that many sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted when there are no visible symptoms, and that a recent HIV test won't reveal exposure within the last six months or so. When you have sex with someone, you're having sex with all the people they had unprotected sex with, too.