Swinging Parties
Swinging became known in the 60's, particularly after contraception became available. It is rumored that swinging by invitation was common in the military, when military men going to faraway assignments would invite a comrade to be a "special comfort" to his wife, on the grounds that he would rather his wife get her sexual needs met with a man he trusted than with some seedy fellow from the local pub. Since then, its popularity has grown. Clubs for meeting up, or even clubs with on-site facilities for those who wish to have sex there, have become established in many locations. An Internet search will likely reveal one in your area.
Different sorts of parties:
The "Key Party:" These apparently originated in the military. All the married men at the party would put their keys in a bowl. The women would each draw at random, going home for the evening with the man whose keys she had chosen. Although these events may be becoming rarer, they still happen.
Club parties: Typical nightclub events, with a DJ and a bar and a rockin' dance floor. "Hooking up" is done by conversation between individuals and couples.
Dogging: Gathering in a public place, like a car park, to have sex and observe others.
Orgies: Sex between four or more people at the same time. Justice Antonin Scalia of the US Supreme Court believes that orgies ease social tensions, and that people should be having more of them.
Etiquette and Rules
Swinging was created to be an alternative to cheating. Each partner should be consenting and fully knowledgeable about what the other partner is doing.
Be polite in all the usual ways when talking with others at a club or on line: don't press your case if refused, don't talk disrespectfully about a previous partner, use nice words like "Please" and "Thank you."
Talk things out with and include your partner. Realize that you are likely to be swapping in the same room with your partner, not in separate rooms. Make eye contact frequently. Take emotional care of each other, before, during and after the party.
Don't push in to a scene you think looks fun. If you can't tell after watching a bit whether they would accept more players, ask nicely if you can play, too.
Absolutely, positively, accept a refusal politely and immediately. If the person is playing "hard to get," they'll figure out that doesn't work with you, and that they will get nothing if they pretend they want nothing. If they really do mean that refusal, they have learned that you are respectful and safe; when they are ready, you may be the one they seek out. "But the most important rule of all, which to us is not a rule but a philosophy, is the Rule of No. Simply stated, the Rule of No means that each person has the absolute right of choice as to what he or she does with his or her body. That includes the right to choose who to have sex with, and equally, what to permit the other person to do once in the bedroom. You have a right to expect this universally, wherever you go in the swinging lifestyle. It is the basic rule that everyone understands. The Rule of No means that you are safe from having to be with someone you choose not to have a sexual encounter with. Swinging is a mutual consent activity." (Chapter 32, The Rule of No) (from The manual for sexual sharing by couples, by Robert H. Adler)
Different sorts of parties:
The "Key Party:" These apparently originated in the military. All the married men at the party would put their keys in a bowl. The women would each draw at random, going home for the evening with the man whose keys she had chosen. Although these events may be becoming rarer, they still happen.
Club parties: Typical nightclub events, with a DJ and a bar and a rockin' dance floor. "Hooking up" is done by conversation between individuals and couples.
Dogging: Gathering in a public place, like a car park, to have sex and observe others.
Orgies: Sex between four or more people at the same time. Justice Antonin Scalia of the US Supreme Court believes that orgies ease social tensions, and that people should be having more of them.
Etiquette and Rules
Swinging was created to be an alternative to cheating. Each partner should be consenting and fully knowledgeable about what the other partner is doing.
Be polite in all the usual ways when talking with others at a club or on line: don't press your case if refused, don't talk disrespectfully about a previous partner, use nice words like "Please" and "Thank you."
Talk things out with and include your partner. Realize that you are likely to be swapping in the same room with your partner, not in separate rooms. Make eye contact frequently. Take emotional care of each other, before, during and after the party.
Don't push in to a scene you think looks fun. If you can't tell after watching a bit whether they would accept more players, ask nicely if you can play, too.
Absolutely, positively, accept a refusal politely and immediately. If the person is playing "hard to get," they'll figure out that doesn't work with you, and that they will get nothing if they pretend they want nothing. If they really do mean that refusal, they have learned that you are respectful and safe; when they are ready, you may be the one they seek out. "But the most important rule of all, which to us is not a rule but a philosophy, is the Rule of No. Simply stated, the Rule of No means that each person has the absolute right of choice as to what he or she does with his or her body. That includes the right to choose who to have sex with, and equally, what to permit the other person to do once in the bedroom. You have a right to expect this universally, wherever you go in the swinging lifestyle. It is the basic rule that everyone understands. The Rule of No means that you are safe from having to be with someone you choose not to have a sexual encounter with. Swinging is a mutual consent activity." (Chapter 32, The Rule of No) (from The manual for sexual sharing by couples, by Robert H. Adler)