There is a growing issue in the swinging community about playmates. Although there are a lot of playmates who are pleasant to play with and respect the community, you will once or twice find yourself with playmates that are there just for the sex. Some swinging couples find this very irritating, because it would only be natural to get to know playmates to a certain level before feeling comfortable enough to actually play with them.

If you are looking for playmates, whether it is on a swinging event or through personal ads and websites, you need to make sure that you are choosing them carefully. Both your partner and you must be fully comfortable with the playmates you are planning on playing with before engaging them in sexual activities. If you get even the slightest discomfort that you just can’t seem to remove, walk away slowly and politely. You will also find situations where playmates you are walking away from chase you aggressively only because they want to cut the chase and get straight to bed with you and your spouse. Just be patient and tell them that you are not comfortable with the situation; you can always ask for assistances in swinging events should you feel a certain playmate — or other swinging couple — is being too aggressive.

Seeking for playmate using websites or from personal ads is a bit easier. You get to choose who you want to meet, so you have all the control. Meet them in a neutral place, for example a nice café, and take it from there.